Anxious

Anxious.

Anxiety definitely is one of the worse feeling that could happen, especially when something good is bound to happen. It ruin everything, as if it was some kind of self-destructing mechanism that automatically trigger by the feeling of that we are not worthy to receive that happiness.

Plus I’m also very skeptical towards those self-help and self-motivation kinda things, so it make the situation even worst. Totally skeptical. The only thing in this world that probably could inspire me to a greater height is perhaps some words of wisdom from the author of The Alchemist. For he is able to put a complicated philosophy into a much more understandable words. Reflecting the sad reality of life beautifully as if it is a beautiful thing, which is part of life-and life itself is a beautiful things.

Still anxious is terrible but we’re merely human.

Tomorrow

Feel kinda a bit uneasy, mainly due to the interview tomorrow. Honestly I didnt prepare anything at all, the stuff that i suppose to print, have not yet printed. Somewhat I regret that I didnt prepare early, and somehow I didnt really look forward towards it. I know, I shoundnt have wishy-washy feeling regarding my future, but somehow, I didnt feel pump up about it. Not like how I use to be last month, maybe because I havent got my transkript yet, but my friend told me i can just bring the letter.

And last night when I want to check the where the interview gonna be, unfortunately the link was closed already and i only remember vividly where the place is. Another problem is also that I haven’t printed the interview invite letter. I planning to call the Education Ministry regarding this but somehow, i forgot and even if I call them they probably already go to lunch. Well you know goverment people-useless. I tried to call around 4.30pm, but I guess the office close at 4.30 pm. Damn.So i guess i’ll just have to gamble everything tomorrow, after finally i settled to change my shift with fellow worker just now. It very last minutes, my colleague said yes but she want to know if our manager would approve it. And the manager said she would approve but she wanted her signature. Just to make it official. I only manage to get her to sign the the form today since she on leave the last 2 days. Again it because of my bad procratination behaviour.

On different note, just now i browse some of my friend picture, holiday picture with his boyfriend, and ofcourse I envy him for he can afford to have the holiday, at Capetown some more. Damn, and another uni friend of mine, which i met during work today, look like he already established (in my own word) himself as rather self-supported person, and paying with his credit card. Another Fuck!